you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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