we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
