in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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