I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
