What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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