so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
