What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
