He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My ass is underappreciated
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
