I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
