So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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