I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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