I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize