morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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