Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
