I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
