blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
