Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
