I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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