No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
