So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
