Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
