all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
