Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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