She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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