i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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