Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
