I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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