"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
