no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
