I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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