Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
