508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
