I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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