When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry about my life...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
