Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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