Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize