we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
