hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
