After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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