I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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