Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
