Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
