I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize