MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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