Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize