I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
