Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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