the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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