i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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