i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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