you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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