I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
