Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
