fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
