OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
