I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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