"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
