is your mom at the bar?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
